Ode To Prostate Biopsies

Any day that starts with an enema can’t be good.

I took my antibiotic and did my enema, like I should.

Then, Had my daughter accompany me to the Dr.

A Urologist , who would complete the shocker.

A Prostate Biopsy to make sure all is right.

It could cause nightmares during the night.

The whole procedure only took about 10 minutes.

But, it seemed a whole lot longer, once you’re in it.

“Lie on your left side with knees bent.”

“First a digital exam.” In the Doc’s finger went.

Talk about a ‘goose’. Quite a jolt it sent.

Then the camera went where no man has gone.

It had a BIG end and was mighty long.

Smarted quite a bit going past the sphincter

Once in it was tolerable. I hoped he didn’t tinker.

“Next,” he said, “a shot of Lidocaine to numb it”

I didn’t feel a thing. I hoped he didn’t shun it.

He took some quick ultra sound pictures.

“Your prostate is enlarged.”— No shit sir!!

“Now, we’ll take some samples . 12 in all.”

“What!! 12!!”—- I felt like climbing the wall.

There was a loud click as the needle jabbed in.

I tried to count, but the Doc was talking then.

They were painful but, tolerable until # 9.

I gave a jerk like I’d lost my mind. Did that one hurt?” , the Doc asked .

“It smarted pretty good,” I gasped.

“Hold on. Only 3 more to go,” he said.

I thought he was out of his head.

The next 3 hurt somewhat less.

I had made it through.—- What a test!

I was told I could have blood in urine & stool

from 1-2 weeks. Now, that’s not very cool.

Fortunately, it stopped in a day, or two.

The results of the biopsy would take a week or 2.

So, be forewarned if this ever happens to you.

Just relax. It’s all over in 10 minutes. Don’t be blue.

——————————————————R. W. Johnson—–(2013)