Fractured Nursery Rhymes
Mary had a little lamb.
It’s fleece was a dirty mess.
So Mary washed it in the creek.
As it dried it choked to death.
Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.
Had a wife & couldn’t keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell.
He ate the whole thing. He did well.
Bah, bah, black sheep.
Have you any wool?
Take a guess, creep.
Get an eye full.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat.
His wife wouldn’t eat any lean.
So he divorced her & got a cat.
The 2 of them licked the plate clean.
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had quite a fall.
He splattered yoke on the stones.
Now he lays there in rapture & moans.
Jack and Jill went up the hill.
They said they were going for water.
What they did gave them a thrill.
Now, soon he will be a father.
Hi diddle diddle. The cat & the fiddle.
The cow jumped over the moon.
On his way down, he said with a frown.
“I think I’ll make buttermilk soon.”
Tom Thumb, said with a gleam in his eye.
“I really like pie.”, as he stuck in his thumb
and he pulled out a plumb. He said
“”Damn, I hate plumb pie.”
Who goosed the moose?
Who turned the lunatic loose?
Who wrote these nursery rhymes?
“It was I” he said between the lines.
——————————R. W. Johnson—–(2015)