Fractured Nursery Rhymes

 

      Fractured Nursery Rhymes

Mary had a little lamb.

It’s fleece was a dirty mess.

So Mary washed it in the creek.

As it dried it choked to death.

 

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater.

Had a wife & couldn’t keep her.

He put her in a pumpkin shell.

He ate the whole thing. He did well.

 

Bah, bah, black sheep.

Have you any wool?

Take a guess, creep.

Get an eye full.

 

Jack Sprat could eat no fat.

His wife wouldn’t eat any lean.

So he divorced her & got a cat.

The 2 of them licked the plate clean.

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had quite a fall.

He splattered yoke on the stones.

Now he lays there in rapture & moans.

 

Jack and Jill went up the hill.

They said they were going for water.

What they did gave them a thrill.

Now, soon he will be a father.

 

Hi diddle diddle. The cat & the fiddle.

The cow jumped over the moon.

On his way down, he said with a frown.

“I think I’ll make buttermilk soon.”

 

Tom Thumb, said with a gleam in his eye.

“I really like pie.”, as he stuck in his thumb

and he pulled out a plumb. He said

“”Damn, I hate plumb pie.”

 

Who goosed the moose?

Who turned the lunatic loose?

Who wrote these nursery rhymes?

“It was I” he said between the lines.

——————————R. W. Johnson—–(2015)

 

 

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