Reflexions
I am feeling pretty lousy still.
I am thinking that I always will.
You were the greatest love I’ve ever had.
Now you’re gone & I am more than sad.
I had it made but, I let it slip away.
I was only thinking of the next day.
Thinking of myself & not of you.
I should have known you have feelings too.
Crawling on my belly like a worm.
Though I hurt, it’s not your concern.
Can’t make up for what’s already done.
I am dead now. There is no fun.
Everything that should cheer me
makes me want to die.
I should have spent more time with you.
Now, it’s so obvious what I didn’t do.
I put my needs way ahead of yours.
My life should have taken a different course.
What you want is important too.
I would have done the same if I were you.
Hind sight is always better than fore sight they say.
I was too blind to see it any other way.
Crawling on my belly like a worm.
Though I hurt, it’s not your concern.
Can’t make up for what’s already done.
I am dead. There is no fun.
Everything that downs me
makes me want to cry.
I have pleaded my case to everyone.
You & your friends think I’ll overcome.
I know I won’t. I’m in misery.
There is no end that I can see.
Has there ever been a man who suffered like this?
Or, am I the first that still exists?
I only wish you could read my repentant heart.
Then you would know trying again is worth a start.
Crawling on my belly like a worm.
Though I hurt, it’s not your concern.
Can’t make up for what’s already done.
I am dead. There is no fun.
Everything that should cheer me—–
makes me want to die.————————–R. W. Johnson—–(2014)