Month: April 2016

Love, Mostly From A Distance

Love, Mostly At A Distance

If you go and see the world like you want,
remember,—– all I want is you.
You will go without me. Not a taunt.
Still, our love will never die. It is true.
Sometimes you are like a rolling stone.
You gather no moss as you move along.
I will remain here, faithful to the bone.
Just remember that as you sing your song.
You were born with a restless sole.
I was born to be a person happy at home.
Just remember wherever you go.
I don’t like staying here all alone.
Bring it back. Bring back your love to me.
The longer you’re gone, the worse it is.
I know in your heart you want to feel free.
Still, you don’t want our love to lose its fizz.
I don’t mind going for a day or two.
As long as you are with me the whole way.
For longer trips I always end up missing you.
I can’t stand leaving home and staying away.
Yet, this feeds your sole. It is what you do.
My love will survive till you return.
I can think of no other except you.
Will your love for me survive, is my concern.
Usually I say yes. Being positive is what I do.
I see no solution to this ongoing problem.
I live with it and take the blows.
Can you think of a way to solve them?
My love remains strong. And so it goes.

———————————R. W. Johnson—–(2016)

Hillbilly With A Drinking Problem

Hillbilly With A Drinking Problem

Hey Boregard, what ya doin tonight?
I’m a goin outside and takin flight.
What chu sayin? You all can’t fly.
By 9:00 tonight—– I will be high.

Ya old boozer, yer at it again.
Ya drink more than Bobby Linn.
The town drunk fer the past 8 years.
He only knows ‘more’ & ‘cheers.’

Why ya getting all liquored up fer now?
Ya knows yer wife is gonna have a cow.
I’m gonna fly like the ‘witchy woman.’
She’s the one The Eagles saw coming.

Ya keep it up an you’ll have the D T’s again.
See pink elephants and kiss your friends.
You’ll be a twitchin on the floor.
Puking and a barfing all over some more.

Don’t chu a worry bout my drinkin now.
I don’t care ifin my wife has a cow.
I be a celebratin the big occasion.
I be the leader of a bran new nation.

What nation is that? The drunken nation?
No. The Nation of Dalmatians.
Ya know I got a slew o them dogs.
I have more dogs than I have hogs.

You be Looney tunes is what you are.
You’re whacker than a crazy ‘baar.’
That booze is a killin yer brain cells.
Yer brain gets pickled, then it swells.

Let me take ya somewhere tonight.
It’s a new meetin I think you’ll like.
Do they show the old smut films?
I like em & the food. Fire up those kilns.

This be an A. A. meetin. Might save yer life.
Before ya get yerself killed by yer wife.
It be a good thing fer you to do.
I don’t wanna be havin to bury you.

You can guess what Boregard said.
Yeah, he’s still drunk & out of his head.
He said A. A. was “Drunk A Logs” fer all.
Not as fun as actually havin a ball.

When he dies the town bar will go broke.
On his tombstone will be his quote.
“A beer to me is like a glass of water.”
“If it was a lake I’d swim like an otter.”

—————————-R. W. Johnson—–(2016)

Health Lesson Learned Late

Health Lesson Learned Late.

Across town, I had to go.
I wanted to see a show.
The theater was over there.
But, really didn’t care.

It was a little out of my way.
Still, I drove by there every day.
My girl lived right near there.
I would always slow & stare.

Stare at the theater parking lot.
Roach Trucks parked on that spot.
I tried to see if she was there.
She ate there often, without a care.

We had talked about the risk of that.
Sometimes it was almost a spat.
I wouldn’t touch any of that food.
I felt it was prepared pretty crude.

But, that never bothered her.
She felt it was safe. That’s for sure.
Luckily, she never got sick.
Yet, I would not even touch it.

I was a health nut, to be sure.
Sort of fussy, as it were.
I only ate certain things.
She thought it was all beans.

Beans was not what I ate.
I ate veggies, fruit, and steak.
I avoided sugar and wheat.
I wouldn’t eat it if it was sweet.

Enough of that. We went to the show.
She wanted popcorn. Here we go.
With butter and a soda too.
I said “This is not for you.”

So, the fight over food began again.
It spoiled the movie, so I gave in.
I only ate nuts and drank water.
She said: “You eat like an otter.”

I didn’t disagree to prevent a fight.
She said her popcorn was light.
I disagreed, but kept quiet.
I didn’t want to start a riot.

After the movie, we went for dinner.
I took her to a place I called a winner.
She hardly even touched her meal.
It was healthy. A real deal.

Then she wanted to stop at Dunkin Donuts.
Said she wanted to get some cronuts.
Said that would be her dessert.
I said “No,” for what it’s worth.

Time goes by, like it always does.
She isn’t my girl now, just because.
My health is fine & I’m feeling good.
She is fat & not feeling like she should.

While with me she didn’t learn a thing.
Always thought I was being mean.
Now, she admits I may have been right.
For her to shape up will be a real fight.

—————————–R. W. Johnson—–(2016)

Reptilian City Discovered?

Reptilian City Discovered?

He was lost in the jungle.
He was all alone.
All he owned was in his bundle.
He didn’t even have a phone.
How he got here, he didn’t know.
He knew where he was from.
He knew his head took a blow.
Then, memories started to come.
A plane crash. Just jungle below.
He knew they were going to crash.
Everyone was killed, except him.
He had a bump & a minor slash.
He didn’t know which way to go.
He would keep heading downhill.
His water supply was running low.
For 2 days, he had been going on will.
Then, he heard the river he came upon.
Big rapids, rough, dropping fast.
He got water & tried to follow the river on.
It entered a narrow canyon pass.
He found a narrow ledge he could use.
He proceeded very carefully.
Soon, he came upon a cave. Good news.
The opening was very narrow, you see.
He went in and got the shock of his life.
He had proceeded down pretty far.
What he saw was a shocking sight.
He saw what looked like a little car.
Soon, he saw creatures: reptilian?
Like large upright lizards from afar.
They had a city of maybe a million.
He didn’t wait to see anymore.
He ran out as fast as he could.
Followed the river till he found a shore.
Rigged a raft made out of wood.
Sailed the river to civilization.
Got transportation to an airport.
Finally, he got back to his nation.

He had something big to report
He reported the story of his find.
It didn’t get a good reception.
They thought he had lost his mind.
Only one person took an exception.
A scientist who believed his story.
He was ready to forget it all.
No one would take him seriously.
Then the scientist made his call.
“Tell me more about your find,” curiously.
He told the scientist all he knew.
The scientist got real excited about it.
He said “I know you’re not a fool”
“I couldn’t find proof. It made me sick.”
“I have had a theory about reptilians.”
“ What you have found should do the trick.”
“We will bring back proof worth millions.”
“We? What are you talking about?”
“A trip back to the cave to get proof.”
”Are you nuts? I’m not going!!”, I shout.
“The fame & money will be big loot.”
The scientist said with a pout.
“I will even throw in my share to boot.”
In the end, plans were made to go.
He wondered how he was talked into this.
He thought about being called wacko.
He decided to put an end to this.
They left on the 23rd of March.
Headed for the Amazon jungle.
Most people thought it was just a lark.
They said to have fun though.
They were never heard from again.
The story lives on to this very day.
Were they caught by lizards, or men?
No one could ever really say.

——————————R. W. Johnson—–(2016)