A Knight’s Tale
A long, long time ago.
Or, so I’ve been told.
In days of old.
When knights were bold.
There lived a serf named ‘Pantsedalot.’
I’ll tell you how that name he got.
It was because he was pantsed a lot.
Sometimes he would pants himself.
As he ran around trying to help.
Down his pants would fall.
Then he would begin to bawl.
One day at a jousting match.
The serf was serving the days catch.
Fresh fish cooked just right.
Served to nobles as they watched the fight.
Someone ‘pantsed’ him as he went by.
As he fell the fish did fly.
Right into the kings lap.
There it landed with a smack.
The king was madder than hell.
He looked over from where it fell.
There was the serf tangled in his pants.
The king flew into one of his rants.
“Grab that serf and bring him here!!”
The serf turned white & trembled with fear.
“For doing such a graceful thing
I will make you a knight” said the king.
He raised his sword and touched the surf’s shoulders.
He said “I name thee ‘Sir Pantsedalot’, The Bolder.”
Everyone roared with laughter and mirth.
The poor serf felt lower than dirt.
Now that he was a knight he was expected to fight.
He didn’t even know how to fly a kite.
He felt for sure his days were numbered.
About the results of this everyone wondered.
The serf was given armor , a shield, and a sword.
The king said ‘Great will be your reward.”
“Should you defeat ‘the Black knight’ today.
To you, I will give my daughter away.”
The serf secretly had a crush on her for years.
Everyone watching was giving him cheers.
Everyone watched as the battle started.
The Black Knight was acting half hearted.
They circled each other for awhile.
The serf made a couple of swings with no style.
The Black Knight just laughed at him.
He said “It is time for this charade to end.”
He took a mighty swing at the ‘new’ knight.
The serf jumped back with all his might.
The Black knight charged forward fast.
Then he tripped on the serf’s fallen armored ass.
the serf’s armor pants had slipped to the ground.
This saving his life as he looked around.
He jumped up and put his sword on the neck
of The Black Knight, who froze, his crotch wet.
“Surrender or die” yelled the serf.
The Black knight surrendered all to the serf.
The king was shocked and his daughter was happy.
The marriage took place and the people were happy.
So goes the story of ‘Sir Pantsedalot.’
The bravest knight who ever fought.
—————————————————-R. W. Johnson—–(2014)