Category: Random

poems from the lunatic fringe

The Mystery Of Schizophrenia

      The Mystery Of Schizophrenia

He was locked away in a padded room.

He just sat there in the gloom.

He did have outbursts in the past.

Now, he seems calm, at last.

The diagnosis is Schizophrenia, Undifferentiated.

Though a Psych diagnosis is highly overrated.

He is obviously in a world of his own.

Sometimes he will smile. Other times he will moan.

Mostly, he likes to be left alone.

Exactly what is going on in him is not known.

Sometimes he will eat, other times he must be fed.

He will usually use the floor as his bed.

Are there demons screaming in his head?

He is totally delusional, it is said.

They have tried Electro Convulsive Therapy.

The response is less than they want it to be.

Sometimes he talks, but it makes no sense.

Maybe it does where he went.

If you had the ability to read minds.

And you entered his, what would you find?

Would you want to come back out again?

Or, would you stay there within.

Would it be like entering the 7th level of hell?

Or, would it be an escape from this place we know well?

What has happened to him & why it does

is still a mystery that eludes us.

Some day we may open that door.

And the patient may say: “I don’t want to be here anymore.”

—————————————————————R. W. Johnson—–(2015)

 

 

 

 

 

Shelter From The Storm

 

       Shelter From The Storm

When I first met you, I was in shock.

Caught between a rock & a hard spot.

You looked like you’d been through the mill.

Like you’d subbed for horses & pulled the till.

Spent the last month under the lash.

You were down & out & about to crash.

How much abuse can one person take?

Were you put on an ant hill & tied to a stake?

You were beaten & kicked around a lot.

There is more dripping from your nose than snot.

You were ‘gun shy’ with good reason.

Some male did this to you without ceasing.

I have no idea how you ever got away.

I am sure he was enraged that day.

It couldn’t have been too long ago.

Your bruises have not yellowed so.

They are still black and blue.

I see the sadness & fear that radiates from you.

I am not here to hurt you in any way.

I detest the games he made you play.

He should be locked away for good.

I don’t care if he came from the hood.

Muslims don’t treat women this badly, it’s sad.

You’re alive,— for this,— you can be glad.

You have come to the right place.

This battered women’s shelter is safe.

We will protect you at all cost.

Get you settled so you won’t be lost.

Provide for you in every way.

Till you can move on from this horrible day.

All men are not the hurting kind.

Most would cherish you for all time.

They would make you feel loved.

Treat you with tender gloves.

Set you up on a pedestal tall.

Worship you like an angel on call.

Treat you like the very best.

Just trust, that day is coming yet.——————R. W. Johnson—–(2015)

 

So Wrong, Yet Felt So Right

 

So Wrong, Yet Felt So Right.

Knowing that it is true

doesn’t always make it right.

That night I was close to you.

I was holding you real tight.

 

It was a night I will never forget.

I keep flashing back to that time.

It was too frightening —–I regret.

Yet, I knew, for awhile, you were mine.

 

It was storming and we were alone.

Trapped in a building with no escape.

A psychotic killer on the roam.

Letting him see us, was a mistake.

 

You belonged to another then.

How we ended up here is a long story.

It all happened,—– so why pretend?

At least it didn’t end up gory.

 

The killer was after us, without a doubt.

We witnessed what he did to that girl.

Then,—– you began to shout.

He faced us, his fist began to curl.

 

We ran like we never had before.

He was hot on our trail wanting our blood.

We hid in this building after breaking in the door.

He kicked the door in further with a thud.

 

We were hiding behind a bunch of boxes.

You were clinging to me very tight.

He went by & we snuck out like foxes.

Being careful to stay out of the light.

 

We ran & ran till we dropped.

Much too tired to go on.

The comfort of each other, we sought.

It still sticks in my mind—– like a song.

 

We found a pay phone and called the police.

They came quickly and took us to the station.

We told our story before our release.

First, we looked at mug shots, to try and place him.

 

Weeks later, the killer was caught.

We felt lucky to have gotten away that night.

Still,—– I have not forgot

what happened between us that felt so right.

 

It may be the truth, but it doesn’t make it right.

You belong to another and so it will be.

Just two ships passing in the night.

Yet, it will always be a special moment for me.–R. W. Johnson—–(2015)

 

 

 

Never Without Hope

       Never Without Hope

Can you hear that awful sound?

Rainbows crumbling all around.

Castles falling from the sky.

Ever since you said goodbye.

 

Things are not the same anymore.

Since you walked right out the door.

I tried to go out for a change.

I should have stayed inside in chains.

 

The world is horrible without you.

All the colors are black and blue.

Nothing has life. All is bleak.

There is nothing that I seek.

 

Except, for a small ray of hope.

Something that can help me cope.

I won’t turn to drugs as a crutch.

Alcohol is really out of touch.

 

Only you can work the cure.

Bring me back from the edge of fear.

Only you have the key to my heart.

Without you, I am falling apart.

 

All is not lost. There is still hope.

As long as I don’t sink the boat.

It will take time to pull it all together.

First, I have to survive this weather.

 

This storm of emotions I deal with daily.

Still holding hope that you’ll say; maybe.

I must chuck it all like last week’s dreams.

Life cannot be as bad as it seems.

 

There is a dream lover for every dreamer.

I swear, more than once, I have seen her.

I need to work a miracle,  or two.

Then, maybe, I can forget about you.—————R. W. Johnson—–(2015)

 

 

 

 

The Root Of Confusion

 

      The Root Of Confusion

Driving down this country road,

feeling like I’m growing old.

Windshield wipers are keeping time,

as I mull things over in my mind.

 

The day is dark, dreary, and wet.

How much darker can my mind get?

I try to find some sort of pattern.

Thoughts are circling like the Rings Of Saturn

 

It is not a mystery

as many say it seems to be.

Round and round

goes the secrecy.

No way ever to

set yourself free.

Sometimes the meaning

starts to become clear.

Then it blurs

and leaves me in fear.

 

On I drive, on this miserable day.

My destination, I cannot say.

I don’t know if I can go on?

Yet,  I must.  It’s not a con.

 

Someone like you can understand.

Why it is so hard for a man.

My thoughts keep spinning with no focus.

I don’t even know what the joke is?

 

It is not a mystery

as many say it seems to be.

Round and round

goes the secrecy.

No way ever to

set yourself free.

Sometimes the meaning

starts to become clear.

Then it blurs

and leaves me in fear.

 

I’ve gone so far I’ve lost my way.

I am not even sure of the day.

It is not a mid life crisis.

I’m still young. It’s what the price is.

 

I could be lost for eternity.

Till someone makes it clear to me.

It’s the way it is when in this trap.

If I only knew where I was at?—————–R. W. Johnson—–(2014)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wind, And More

      Wind, And More

Just one word will make it clear.

Something you can’t see or hear.

Unless it touches something.

 

You can feel it on your face.

But, that’s not all it takes.

It has to touch something.

 

You can see it in the trees.

When it shakes the leaves.

It has touched something.

 

You can hear it through the walls.

You hear the moan when It calls.

It just touched something.

 

When I’m gone, you will see.

This will be a lot like me.

I will touch something.

 

When you see it move.

You’ll know I am in the mood.

To touch something.

 

If you feel me touch your face.

If you feel my embrace.

Know I have touched someone.

 

If you hear what could be me.

Maybe then you will see.

I may be something.

 

Something one step beyond.

But, still felt, though I am gone.

Does that mean something??—————–R. W. Johnson—–(2014)

 

 

Footfalls In My Mind

 

Footfalls In My Mind

“Ring phone.”—-RING.

“One more time.”

“Come on”—- “Answer,

Crisis line.”

 

“Hello, —- thank God!

I’m glad you’re there.

You really gave me

quite a scare.”

 

“Remember me —-?”

“From yesterday?”

“I have to talk

some more today.”

 

“I feel I’m running

out of time.

I hear his footfalls

in my mind.”

 

“I don’t go out.

I cannot eat.

At night, I scream

myself to sleep.”

 

“I can’t sleep now,

though I’m in bed.

I hear his footfalls

in my head.”

 

“I know you think

he doesn’t exist.

But, I know different.

I’ve felt his fist.”

 

“He’ll come bustin

thru the door,

cuss me out an

call me a ‘whore’.”

 

“He’ll walk over

and slap my face.

Then, kick me all

around the place.”

 

“He’ll tie me nude

into a chair.

Then, run his fingers

thru my hair.”

 

“If I yell,

or act upset,

he’ll burn me with

a cigarette.”

 

“What happens next,

I can’t talk about.

But, —- I know

a sure way out.”

 

“I have a gun

with me in bed.

I’m going to shoot

him in the head.”

 

“Don’t say what

I shouldn’t do.

You don’t know

what I’ve been through.”

 

“Wait!! —-Listen,

I think he’s near.

I hear his footfalls

in my ears.”

 

“Hello, —- Hello.

“Are you still there?”

Nothing but, silence

in the air.

 

BANG!!

 

“Hello again. —-

Yeah, —- it’s me.

I said it would work.

Now, you can see.”

 

“’It’s the police’,

I think he said,

before I shot him

in the head.”

 

“Now, at last,

I can be free.

He’ll no longer

bother me.”

 

“I shot him good.

I know he’s dead.

But,? —- I hear

his footfalls in my head.”

 

BANG!!

 

“Hello!!, —- Hello!!

Are you still there?”

Only silence

in the air. ———————–R. W. Johnson—–(2011)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Imagination

      Imagination

My imagination is at the extreme.

The lunatic fringe to some, it may seem.

I dig deep into all levels of possibilities.

Never under estimate my abilities.

 

I can turn night time into day.

Make the bad guy run the other way.

Do magic with the wave of a wand.

Have two opposites form a bond.

 

Give extreme happiness to a forlorn lover.

Make a lonely girl become a mother.

Create a world for your wildest dreams.

Cause it to come apart at the seams.

 

Make your dreams come true.

I can make it so just for you.

I can save you from eternal damnation.

Or, have you burn in hell with elation.

 

Have you ever ridden a bike on a tight wire?

It can happen, if that’s your desire.

Do you want to be the first in deep, deep space?

Would you rather someone else take your place?

 

There is no limits to what I can do.

If I can imagine it, it can happen for you.

But, it will be on a written page.

I write poetry for every age.——————-R. W. Johnson—–(2014)

 

 

 

 

A Fairy Tale

      A Fairy Tale

I was walking down a country road.

Twilight was lengthening the shadows.

I heard the croaking of the toads.

I saw the nearby cattle.

Suddenly, I heard a cry!!

It came from somewhere in the woods.

Darkened trees flashed by my eyes,

as I ran as fast as I could.

Down the road, I reached the spot

from where the cry had come.

I started into the wooded lot,

at a creep and not a run.

Soon, I reached a waterfall.

There was moonlight shining down.

I moved closer at a crawl.

Careful not to make a sound.

Below the falls there was a pool.

From there I heard the voices.

At first I thought it wasn’t true.

But, there were no other choices.

There were fairies, small with wings.

They were sitting & playing in the water.

Many laughed while others would sing.

Still others, splashed around like otters.

I felt a magical peace of mind

watching the fairies in the moonlight.

Who would believe there exists their kind?

I had a feeling it was only right.

Suddenly, I had to sneeze.

The fairies all froze and looked.

I fell down upon my knees.

Not a ripple stirred within the brook.

Then, all the fairies took to the air.

They flew off into the night.

All that I could do, was stare

into the shimmering moonlight.

To this day, I still believe,

what took place that moonlit night.

The fairies I saw could not deceive,

even though they took to flight.

So, if you know a secluded spot to go

with lots of water around.

Go there when the moon is full

and fairies may be found.—————–R. W. Johnson—–(2004)

 

 

 

 

It Really Doesn’t Matter Anymore

It Really Doesn’t Matter Anymore

When I was little, I was very shy.

I couldn’t look a person in the eye.

A few years later I didn’t like to fight.

To avoid a hassle I would take flight.

As an adult I resisted going to war.

I didn’t want to be here anymore.

 

Now I’m old & set in my ways.

I think back to those earlier days.

I am still set against any wars.

But,— it doesn’t matter anymore.

 

I got married & we had children.

Both were really strong willed then.

Now that I think, they still are now.

They could make you have a cow.

But, neither thinks much of war.

They dislike it to the core.

 

Now I’m old & set in my ways.

I think back to those earlier days.

I am still set against any wars.

But,—It doesn’t matter anymore.

 

As an adult I found the Lord.

My life changed. I’m no longer bored.

I’m looking at life with a different view.

Thinking of more than me and you.

Helping others to make the change.

Getting away from sorrow and pain.

 

Now I’m old & set in my ways.

I think back to those earlier days.

I am still against any wars.

But, it really doesn’t matter anymore.

 

Were in the end days. It will end soon.

The Lord will come outshining sun & moon.

That will be the end of strife & wars.

He’ll shake this earth to it’s very core.

The righteous will be caught up in the air.

The wicked will die in shame & despair.

 

Now I’m old & set in my ways.

I think back to those earlier days.

I am still set against any wars.

Soon, none of this will matter anymore.

—————————————————R.W. Johnson—-(2011)